Recent Features, News & Products from Hardware Connection

Do You Have Any Hose (Hoes)?

My personal favorite is “hose (hoes),” preceded by “Do you have…” 50/50 chance of getting it right and I have had some pretty indignant looks when I didn’t guess right.
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Do You Have Any Paralyzed Lime?

Had a lady ask if we had any paralyzed lime. Finally figured out she meant pelletized. Susan Miller Bob’s Hardware Whiting, N.J.
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Womanized Wood

We frequently get calls for “womanized” wood. Wolmanized. Really. Thanks for the laugh! Karla Robson Slavens True Value Cortez, Colo.
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An Itching Problem

I had an employee come in one day who was practically dancing around with an itching problem in a sensitive place. I instructed him to call a doctor for an
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Free Firewood

As a lumberyard we accumulate piles of wood pallets. The local fire department is always after us to get rid of them. A few years back we made a large
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Espresso and Free Puppies

Sign posted on the salesfloor: “Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy. Thanks kindly, Morgan Hardware.” Larry Floyd Morgan Hardware Lavonia, Ga.
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Do You Have Any Left-Handed Nails?

A young, visibly frustrated customer came in recently and asked if we had left-handed nails. He said he was having real trouble driving nails in. We did not have any
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We Sell Crack & Ship Pecans

We sell pecans in the fall and ship them from our post office in the store. We will also crack the pecans for a nominal price in our cracking machine.
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What's Wrong with Your Potted Soil?

My favorite story is the woman who asked what was wrong with our potting soil for it to be so cheap. I replied that it was just on sale, but
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“The magazine was terrific and I felt like I was having a conversation with an old friend. Congratulations as I believe you have ‘nailed it’!” Jeff Osborne VP-DIY Business Unit
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